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It is not easy to tell the difference between the people who live on both sides of the Mekong river in Laos and across in Thailand—that is how close they are. The two countries, after all, a share a border along Laos' western side, running from the Lao capital Vientiane to southern Thakhek district for some 1,730 kilometres.

Those who live along the Mekong's riverbanks are between Pakxan district of Laos, across Bung Kan district in Thailand; Thakhek in Laos across Nakhon Phanom in Thailand, and Vientiane across Nong Khai in Thailand, bound by the 1.3 kilometre Friendship Bridge across the Mekong.

They eat the same food, dress the same way, have similar lifestyles.

These similarities reflect history. For generations, people living on the Mekong's riverbanks have been relatives. Therefore, the relationship among residents along the Mekong, in Laos and Thailand, remains good and strong, easy come, easy go. About 85 percent of families live in these regions are relatives.

Take the case of 60-year-old Uncle Tan, who was born in Laos' Champasak province, and at 22 got married in Ahong village, Bung Kan district in Thailand, and has lived there since. "All households in Ahong have relatives in Laos," he said.

Joy, from Savannakhet province, moved north to Thakhek border town more than 300 km from Vientiane. In 1984, she crossed the border too and stayed with her uncle in Nakhon Phanom town, Thailand.

She works at the Venus sauna there. "I crossed the border back to Laos many times to give my mum money," she explained.

Uncle Ko, 65, was born in Pakxan in Laos, and married a woman in Bung Kan over in Thailand. He had a sewing shop in Bangkok for about eight years, but after his business collapsed, he returned to Bung Kan and opened the shop there instead. Today, he has 14 sewing machines and 18 employees, some of whom are from Pakxan too.

Nearly all the people I interviewed in Bung Kan, Pakxan, Phonkhor, Hinboun district in Laos' Khammouan province, said they had relatives on the other side of the river. Many young people on the Lao side, men and women especially along the villages along the Mekong river, said that they used to work in Thailand illegally for short periods of about a month. Some worked for longer periods in Thailand, others got married there.

Many of those who go to the Thai side are women, beautiful swans flying very high and far to reach Krungthep (Bangkok), who then lose their way and are unable to come home to Laos. Some disappear, like swans that have become falcons.

Returning, Weeping

The stories of Lao girls sold to Thailand by middlemen are like sharp knives piercing the heart. This relationship of brotherhood and blood —as Thai and Lao ties are across the Mekong river between them—allows for easy ways to talk and the convenience of going and coming to find jobs. However, in a deep, dark corner of this relationship lurks a deep lie.

Poverty and the lack of jobs drive Lao teenagers to cross the border, to visit relatives or to find work in Thailand. After earning some money, they want to be swans, flying away without limits. This has caused many teenage girls to make what later turns out to be the wrong decisions. It is like what petrol does to a fire.

Teardrops fell from Mrs Lay's eyes, as she told the story of her lovely daughter who died in March 2001. "I made the wrong decision to let my daughter cross the Mekong river to stay with her sister…," she said, wiping away a tear just before it fell.

"My daughter was 20 years old when she went to stay with her sister in Thailand in 1998. After that she got married to a soldier, they had one child. Because of poverty and responsibility to her family, she decided to find work in Bangkok. Unfortunately, her husband became ill," she began.

"Not long after that, their child, who was only seven months, became ill and later died. A few months later her husband also died," she added.

Her daughter married, unofficially, her second husband who worked in the same restaurant with her. A few months later, they divorced. From that point onward, she pushed her life into a dark corner of the colourful lights in Krungthep, selling her body to a man—'love just for a night'.

Uncle Pheang, who is open-minded and easy-going, smiled as he said: "My youngest daughter died in June 2001. She went to stay with her sister in Thailand when she was 12. She was ill when she was 16, she came back home to Laos for treatment, but unfortunately she died."

Many villagers asked of the situation of the women in these stories, "Was it AIDS?"

Dr Khanthong, a committee officer of the AIDS control programme at the provincial level in Bolikhamxay, said one could not say if this was so. He shared the results of blood tests of mobile populations that crossed over to work in Thailand—tests that were done in two Lao districts (Pakxan and Khamkurt). He spoke of blood sampling of people from 1999 to 2002, which showed three positive for HIV in 1999 and none among 283 people tested in 2002.

"People who had AIDS were mainly aged 22 to 35 and 90 percent of them used to work in Thailand," he concluded.

Synouan, a 14-year-old girl, went to find work in Thailand in June 2001. She has not returned home. In tears, her mother recalled: "I called out to my daughter, don't go! don't go! But she didn't listen to me."

"I am nearly mad. It has been one year, I don't know where my daughter is," Synouan's mother said, swallowing her bitter pain.

Bolikhamxay (Laos), Bung Kan and Nakhon Phanom (Thailand) also have many sad stories in the minds and hearts of people living by the riverbanks. They have not only the sad stories of Lao girls, but many Thai girls too.

Mr Yoe is a 'jumbo' driver at the checkpoint for entry to Nakhon Phanom. He lives in Nongkhem village, Nakhon Phanom, and his daughter is in bonded labour in Bangkok. He has not heard from his daughter for two years now.

A daughter of Mrs So, who lives in Ahong village, Bung Kan in Thailand, went to work in Sattahip near Pattaya with a relative for a year. But her mother has not received any messages from her, and nobody knows what she is doing there.

Indeed, many of the women who lived along the Mekong's riverbanks have gone away from their homes, and left only old persons and parents crying, waiting at home.

Mr Damlong, a director of Youth-Pioneer Vocational Development Centre in Bolikhamxay province in Laos, says that these reasons for leaving are why it is important to make sure young people find work in Laos.

The centre, established to address the issue of youth crossing to work in Thailand illegally, gives training in sewing, business and accounting, computers and the English language.

"The most important task is to assist students in finding places to work after they complete their courses. I think this is an initial possible solution (for young people being drawn across the border for work)," Damlong said.

There are many stories about the vulnerable men and women on the two sides of the Mekong river, who are in bonded labour, working in poor conditions, addicted to drugs, especially the women who are forced into sex work or are living with HIV/AIDS.

Without effective ways of solving these problems, many more painful stories like these will continue to be told.

A longer version of this story, written in Lao under the IPS-Rockefeller media fellowship programme 'Our Mekong: A Vision amid Globalisation', was published in 'Noumlao' newspaper in Vientiane.