/ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT/CULTURE-MIDDLE EAST: Arab Hospitality Runs Deep

By IPS Correspondents Reprint | | Print |

Meena S Janardhan

DUBAI, May 28 2002 (IPS) - “Generosity hides all defects,” says old Arab saying. And generosity is what pervades every Arab home throughout the Middle East.

The genuine warmth of Arab hospitality is renowned and is an integral part of their culture. Perhaps this can be traced back to their days of struggle in the desert, where every visitor to an oasis was greeted with open arms and no questions asked for the first three days, be they friend or foe.

“Every country has its own traditions in hospitality. But we pride ourselves in the fact that even the poorest of families will share all that they have in order to extend hospitality to their guests,” says Youssef Al Mutairi in an interview, his 70-year-old face crinkling into a smile.

“And it’s not just my generation that clings on to these traditions. Go to any traditional Arab household and you will find that every member, old or young, believes and follows this way of life,” adds Mutairi, a resident of Sharjah and a textile shop-owner.

‘Diyafa’ or hospitality has been an intrinsic part of Bedouin lifestyle and is considered a sacred and revered tradition. The Arabs consider that religious belief and honouring one’s guests go hand in hand.

“Hospitality is in our blood. It forms the foundation of our existence and runs in our veins,” declares Nasreen Al Daud passionately in an interview. Nasreen is a young executive at a financial institution in Dubai and says that legendary Bedouin traditions have paved the way for modern-day Arab hospitality.

“Desert life was a challenge and social interdependence our lifeline. So a guest was to be welcomed and made comfortable even in the face of extreme hardship,” she adds.

So what would a visitor meet with if he or she visited an Arab household? A male visitor will be greeted by the host at the door with a warm ‘marhaba’ (welcome) that will put him at total ease. The host would then offer him the best seat in his ‘majlis’ – reception rooms reserved for celebrating special occasions or entertaining important guests.

A female visitor will be greeted by the lady of the house and be led to a separate ‘majlis’ for women. That is the only difference based on gender; from then on the traditions never vary.

As one walks into the ‘majlis’, the host will allow the guest to take the lead — the Arab way of saying that the guest comes first.

The host will then serve ‘qahwa’ (traditional Arabic coffee is an important part of Arab hospitality and is served black, without sugar, usually flavoured with cardamom or cloves), fruits, dry fruits and dates. The cup is refilled till the guest indicates that one has had enough by shaking the cup from side to side.

“We follow traditions even in serving coffee. Only the younger son of the house will serve it to guests,” says Youssef.

If the invitation is for dinner, the meal will be served after a few rounds of coffee. The host has to slaughter a lamb for every guest he has invited and serve the whole roast along with its head on a huge round platter. The hosts help themselves only after the guest has started eating.

Nasreen explains, “Serving the whole roast with the head is to say that we give up our place as the head of the household. During their stay, the guest is the head.”

There are rules for visitors too. One is expected to wear clothing that covers the whole body, reply warmly to the ‘marhaba’, take off one’s shoes before entering the ‘majlis’, shake hands with everyone present, and remember never to cross legs as sitting with feet pointing towards someone is considered offensive.

When visitors squat on the mattress, they are expected to cross their legs or fold one leg and cross one closely hugging their chest. Also, when handing over the empty coffee cup they have to do it with the right hand, not the left.

“Don’t worry,” Youssef smiles, “If you go wrong somewhere, your host will politely whisper the right steps to take.”

Visitors leave an Arab household, overcome by the affection and warmth that they have received and bathed in the heady scent of burning incense and fragrant perfume — yet another tradition to ensure good fortune and ward off evil and yet another symbol of Arab hospitality.

While practices are almost the same across the region, there are some differences. In the UAE, people rub noses and peck on the cheek when they first meet. In Bahrain, they peck three times on one cheek and once on the other. In Saudi Arabia, it’s twice on one and once on the other.

Differences have also arisen due to the influence of Western culture and modernisation. Some regions still continue ancient traditions undiluted by modernity. But in areas where Westerners are present, practices have changed — the approach is more contemporary, though the spirit is the same.

In fact hospitality means so much to the Arabs that they have decided to promote its understanding to their visitors. Abdallah bin Eisa Al Serkal, director of the Sheikh Mohammed Centre for Cultural Understanding, says, “The Centre has taken on the task of educating visitors on Gulf customs. Our mission is to familiarise all our resident guests and tourists with the local customs and culture.”

“Things have changed. Today, shaking hands as a greeting is acceptable and there may not be a separate ‘majlis’ in every house, but the bottom line is that the guest is the topmost priority. An Arab will offer his guest the best food and comfort that he can afford, often denying himself in deference to his guest,” Abdallah adds, explaining the fundamentals that underlie Arab hospitality.