ARGENTINA: Support Groups for Families with Loved Ones Abroad

By Marcela Valente Reprint | | Print |

Marcela Valente

BUENOS AIRES, Oct 23 2002 (IPS) - The emigration of thousands of Argentines, mainly young people, who are fleeing the economic collapse in their country and the consequent lack of jobs and opportunities, has led to a mushrooming of support groups for mothers and other family members left behind.

Madres Desarraigo (Mothers Uprootedness), Muy Cerca a la Distancia (Very Close at Long Distance), Cuando los Hijos se Van Lejos (When the Children Go Far Away) and Familiares y Amigos de Emigrantes (Families and Friends of Emigrants) are just a few of the associations that have cropped up in the recent past to help people deal with their pain and concern for family members who have left.

The new phenomenon has taken on such magnitude in this Southern Cone country that a big meeting of the support groups is planned for Oct 26.

All three of 59-year-old homemaker Alicia Fara’s grown children live in Barcelona, Spain.

”Roberto, a graphic designer, left first, in October 2000, after he received a job offer,” Fara, one of the founders of Madres Desarraigo, which was created two years ago, told IPS.

The group provides emotional support and enables mothers to express their pain and mourn their loss, while sharing their experiences with others and creating networks aimed at keeping children in touch with their parents.

The group also provides information on the requirements for moving abroad.

Based on the number of people who left the country and how many returned, National Migration Office statistics estimate that more than 90,000 people moved abroad in 2000 and 2001.

And the flow of emigrants has grown this year due to the economic debacle that broke out in December after four years of recession, as demonstrated by the long lines that form daily outside the embassies and consulates of Italy, Spain and the United States – the preferred destinations.

Unemployment stands at 21.4 percent, and twice that among the young, while over 50 percent of Argentina’s 37 million people have fallen into poverty.

”In January, my two daughters left together, one of them with her husband,” said Fara. ”They didn’t have work over there, but with their European Union passports, they found jobs in less than a month.

”When they call, they sound relaxed, calm, more mature, and with a good outlook” for their future, something that they were lacking in their own country, she said.

”None of my kids are here, but I consider myself fortunate because they are all together, in the same city,” she added.

That is an important factor. A number of women taking part in the monthly meetings of Madres Desarraigo, which are coordinated by psychologist Adriana Abba, talk about how their grown children are in different countries, far apart from each other.

Some have one child in Europe and another in the United States, others have one in Canada and a second elsewhere in Latin America.

There are also parents who have one child abroad and one at home. The one who stayed behind tends to be stuck with the responsibility of taking care of their parents, and often resents the sibling(s) who left, said the activist.

The parting is always painful. ”When we hug them in the airport, the whole movie of their life since they were born flashes before us,” said Fara.

Nevertheless, a sense of satisfaction often follows when the mothers see their sons and daughters able to make their dreams come true elsewhere, she added.

The main factors pushing Argentines abroad are the lack of work, the uncertainty hovering over those who still have a job, and the anxiety of watching millions of people from the middle class fall into poverty, despite their educational level and professional qualifications.

A survey carried out by the local consultancy Demoskopia in 2000, before the ongoing recession tipped the country into a full- blown economic and social crisis, found that 52 percent of young respondents already believed that the only way they could reach their goals was by leaving the country.

Among university students, the proportion who said they wanted to emigrate was 63 percent.

The urge to leave the country is much more a product of the frustration caused by the lack of opportunities at home than of interest in gaining new experiences abroad, according to opinion polls and other studies.

For that reason, many parents feel guilty, and believe they have failed to equip their children with the necessary tools to get ahead in Argentina.

Juana Lieberman, 58, was unable to keep her son from moving to Israel, even though she and her husband helped him set up his own business here. ”Where did we go wrong?” she asked her husband when their son left 14 months ago.

Lieberman decided to use the experience she gained in 15 years coordinating self-help groups in the Asociación de Lucha contra la Obesidad (Association of the Fight against Obesity), to set up a support group, Families and Friends of Emigrants, in her neighbourhood.

”My son’s departure threw me into a deep sadness, and I couldn’t get over his absence,” Lieberman told IPS.

That changed after she set up the new group, and her son is also feeling better. ”It did him a lot of good to find out that I’m involved in this, because he left with a big burden of guilt over the sorrow that we were all left with” here in Argentina, she explained.

The greatest pain tends to be felt by older people, who ”are afraid of never seeing their children again, or of being unable to maintain ties with their grandchildren, because sometimes they don’t even speak the same language,” said Sara Chapot, a psychologist who specialises in the problems of the elderly.

Chapot, who coordinates a group of people who have loved ones living overseas, stressed the importance of helping senior citizens learn about the new communication options opened up by the Internet and e-mail, which shorten distances.

Some parents even follow their grown children abroad, especially when all of their children and grandchildren are living overseas.

Nélida and Juan López are considering the possibility, after seeing off one daughter who went to live in Barcelona and a son who left for Germany, while their other son and his wife and children are also packing up.

”We have no choice but to accept it,” Nélida, who is considering the possibility of accepting her son’s invitation to move abroad, commented to IPS.

The idea is tempting, but like many of their generation, the López’s are finding it hard to pull up their roots and emigrate.

ARGENTINA: Support Groups for Families with Loved Ones Abroad

By Marcela Valente Reprint | | Print |

Marcela Valente

BUENOS AIRES, Oct 23 2002 (IPS) - The emigration of thousands of Argentines, mainly young people, who are fleeing the economic collapse in their country and the consequent lack of jobs and opportunities, has led to a mushrooming of support groups for mothers and other family members left behind.
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