Monday, June 29, 2026
Abra Pollock
- When Maria, who asked that her full name not be used, began working as a New York City-area hair stylist almost 26 years ago, she had a client named "Betty" who would often show up to her appointments with serious-looking injuries.
A broken rib, a gash, a burn on her hand – for each of these, Betty would provide Maria with a lengthy story about how clumsy she had been. And because "she had good excuses, and maybe because I just wasn't too aware," Maria didn't suspect anything.
It was not until Betty and Maria had built a decade-long relationship of hair stylist and client that one day Betty broke down and revealed to Maria that her husband was abusing her. Maria was not only upset and saddened, she felt moved to do something to help.
Thus, in an era prior to websites and internet downloads, Maria went in person to a nearby women's shelter to pick up informational materials for Betty. Later, when Betty no longer had the courage to approach the police, Maria would eventually file an anonymous report to help secure a restraining order against Betty's husband.
"At one point I told her, 'Betty, you have got to get help,'" Maria recalled, "'because if he kills you, and I have to do your hair for your funeral, I am not going to be able to make you look pretty since I'm going to be so mad!'"
Not all hair dressers become involved in situations like the one Maria described. Yet with the help of various domestic abuse awareness programmes cropping up around the country that are aimed at educating salon professionals, hair dressers will now be better equipped to provide support in this type of situation before it escalates like Betty's did.
In nearby northern New Jersey, the Jewish Federation of Greater Clifton-Passaic's Jewish Family Service (JFS) division received a grant last month to implement its own version of a similar programme called "Cut It Out", with a special approach to reach Passaic's Orthodox Jewish population.
Starting next week, JFS will be training hair stylists, but also professional wig stylists, according to Sharon Zwickler, a second-year social work student who has interned with JFS's Project S.A.R.A.H. (Stop Abusive Relationships At Home) for over a year.
Since Orthodox Jewish women often cover their hair with wigs, hats or scarves after they become married, training wig stylists is an ideal way to reach these women in a setting where they feel most comfortable, Zwickler explained.
"Cut It Out" was founded eight years ago in the state of Alabama as a programme of the Women's Fund of Greater Birmingham, its website said. Cut It Out builds awareness of domestic abuse through materials to be displayed in salons, an "Adopt-a-Shelter" initiative to involve salons in helping local domestic violence agencies, and by training salon professionals to recognise warning signs and safely refer clients to resources.
The programme has now expanded nationally with support from the Salons Against Domestic Abuse Fund, as well as other sponsors, and offers a roster of dozens of professional trainers who are available to run workshops for salons who request them.
JFS eagerly signed up to run its own version of the programme because "it parallels one of our earlier initiatives," explained director Esther East. "We've been training Jewish ritual bath attendants to be resources for women for 10 years. It's been our experience that they are so grateful that someone is paying attention to them, as a group that has been on the front line with people in need."
Indeed, hair stylists often play a uniquely intimate role in their clients' lives as confidants, friends – even informal therapists, salon professionals agree.
"As a hairdresser, you build a bond with your clients, especially the people who you've worked with for a really long time. Some of them having been coming [to me] for 25 years," said Joedy Puleio, a stylist at Innovation Hair Design in northern New Jersey. "I've heard of people's husbands having affairs. I've had people cry in my chair about arguments they've had."
This role for stylists is not limited to the beauty salon, but extends into the masculine realm of the barber shop.
According to Kevin Boston of the Ebony Barber Shop in Alexandria, Virginia, "It's almost like being a bartender. People share what's going on in their personal relationships, husbands and wives breaking up, children getting into the things that children get into."
Indeed, "there are things that they can't tell certain people, but they want to tell somebody," said Beth Abroms, who owns the Fiddleheads Salon in Washington, D.C.
"The hairstylist is always a good person for that," Abroms said, recalling how one of her clients had disclosed that she was pregnant to Abroms before she told her spouse or any of her family members.
Another one of Abroms' clients became near-hysterical when she realised that the haircut she had received was shorter than she anticipated it would be.
According to Abroms, the woman kept repeating over and over again that her husband "was going to kill her" when she got home – prompting Abrams to wonder, "What kind of relationship is this that her husband would be bothered that much about her hair being too short?"
It is precisely these types of questions that the Cut It Out programme and others like it seek to address through trainings, in order to clarify the difference between playful joking and statements that may actually be indicative of something much more grave.
For many barbers and stylists, this role was not necessarily one they thought they were signing up for, or were prepared for, while studying at cosmetology school.
According to Garrett Johnson, a popular "curly hair specialist" at S/Palon in Washington, cosmetology students are taught that "you're supposed to talk about inane things [like] fashion, celebrities and movies" with clients.
At the time, Johnson thought to himself, "Bo-ring! Who wants to talk about that? We should talk about something that means something." He said he often reaches out to clients who are having difficult personal situations, and feels that the type of training offered by Cut It Out could be extremely helpful to him.
"I'm happy to do their hair," Johnson said, "but I'd like to be able to do more than that."
In the years since she began her career 26 years ago, Maria has recovered from her experience with Betty. But she would like to see domestic abuse awareness programmes become much more widely available for salon professionals – even internationally, she said.
"Why not bring the [Cut It Out] programme to the international hair show, which travels all over the world?" Maria wondered. "If they had a booth there, they could get the information out to many, many hairdressers."
"Even if there are 1,000 hairdressers, and only 700 take the flyer, each of them could help 20 people," she said.